Closer
by stelena1981
Summary: Moments in Between Series. This one picks up at end of 2x21.


**A/N: These are stories I'm bringing here from LJ at users request. **

The very next question after reassuring everyone that she was still human was "Where's Stefan"?

Damon quickly reassured her (and Jeremy by default) that he was safe and was with Bonnie making sure that Klaus was dead. Not long after that, Alaric called Damon over and whispered something to him causing Damon to quickly run outside.

"What's going on, Jer" she asks her brother. He sits down next to her and sighs.

"Elena. It's John."

The next thing she knows Damon is insisting that Jeremy drive her to the Salvatore mansion to sleep. Elena insists back with the very lasts of her strength (who was she kidding. There was no last of her strength. She was borrowing from strength to come to get through this) that she wanted to go to her house. Her parents house. Jenna's house.

"Fine Elena. But you must SLEEP."

She didn't answer him as she got in the passenger seat and waited for Jeremy to pull off.

Elena doesn't remember the last time she had gone this long without contact from Stefan. Even when he went off to find Isobel and she stayed behind to help Damon with Rose, she still texted him to make sure he was okay and to get and give updates on each of their situations.

The last she saw of Stefan was…Oh God, could she even bear to remember that right now…it was turning off her inner panic button and yielding to her death as she focused her eyes on Stefan and watched him suffer.

She tried to tell him with her eyes that she loved him and that she was okay. That she was doing what she chose long ago. That she was at peace.

That she loved him.

That she loved him.

That she loved him.

And then her vision got blurry and her brain stopped functioning and her heart stopped beating and then she was no longer there.

It was 7 am. It had been six hours since that happened. Six hours since Stefan watched her die unsure if she would come back to life.

Her heart ached from many things—things she couldn't allow herself to process right then. Things like standing above Jenna's corpse as she was drained; knowing that her father gave his life for her; knowing that she was killed.

But she needed to see Stefan. She needed to see him. And then all the other stuff. And then.

And then.

Jeremy tried and tried to coax Elena to her room. She would not budge. She would not speak.

She did hug her brother and run her fingers through his hair and stare him deep in the eyes knowing that he was equally concerned for Bonnie.

But she didn't budge from the floor right before the front door. She sat there in her dirtied death clothes with her hair matted and legs bent at the knees waiting.

She couldn't speak.

Wouldn't speak. Wouldn't sleep. Wouldn't eat.

She just stared at the door and waited. She even started rocking to soothe herself.

The door opened quickly. Too quick for Elena's eyes to perceive it. Her head was between her knees but the light caught her by surprise. And as soon as she lifted her eyes she saw him against the door.

They stared for long moments neither wanting to break apart and find themselves somehow waking from a dream.

Elena gathered the last bits of energy she had and stood. Unable to stand and look at him she ran the short distance from floor to door and stood in front of him. Her first touch to his face was his undoing. Tears welled in his eyes and slowly down his face. She moved her other hand to his back and felt to make sure he healed. She checked his neck from where Klaus snapped it.

For fear of breaking down completely, Stefan was reticent to touch her. He just couldn't get the picture of her, lifeless and slung to the ground, out of his head. Knowing him so well, she took his hand in hers and brought it to her neck. He quivered and shook. And she let go and let him continue to inspect her, shaking with fear and sadness and great despair.

She had kept herself together enough. Unable to stand not being close(r) to him, she leapt and wrapped herself around him, jumping into his arms and holding him tight.

He held her just as tightly.

And without fanfare or warning, he walked them up the stairs to her bedroom. She wouldn't let him go.

She wouldn't untangle herself from him. Her legs wrapped round his waist, her torso pressed against his, her arms around his neck.

Not that he minded it.

Still silent, he carried her into the bathroom and ran them a bath. Leaving the lights off and only allowing the natural light in, Stefan sat on the toilet seat with her attached to him and slowly began to strip her of her blood stained jacket and t-shirt and bra and then her Converse and then her jeans and then her panties. Then he stripped himself of his clothing and moved them into the hot steamy water.

He never let her go. He didn't think he could. He didn't think it was ever possible that short of her telling him to let her go that he ever could.

He remembers something from not so long ago when they were both so naïve and the deep love they shared was still new- it was laughable now. Finding his vocal cords again was a challenge and his voice sounded more hoarse and husky than it was normally.

"Elena, I can't do this anymore."

She moved from her spot with her head on his neck and pulled back to look him in the eyes.

"I love you too Stefan," she said caressing his face.

Sometime after the water had long gone cold, they were able to detach from each other momentarily to dry off and dress and crawl in bed. But then, they intertwined from toes to feet to knees to legs to arms and with foreheads touching they stared at each other until sleep overwhelmed them.

Hours later, Stefan awoke to find Elena asleep but crying into his neck and sobbing "no, no, no, no, no. Noooo Jenna. Turn it off. Turn the emotions off Jenna. Then you won't be afraid."

Stefan listened to her talking in her sleep putting the pieces together and there went his heart breaking again at the costs she has had to pay since knowing him.

She screamed and startled herself awake. Blurry and disoriented at first, she was quietly shushed by Stefan. Her tears subside.

"Is he dead Stefan? Did Elijah kill him?"

"Elena...shh…we'll talk about this after you sleep more."

"No, Stefan, tell me. Is he dead?"

He looks in her eyes, his full of shame and disappointment for what he has to tell her. "Elijah was about to fulfill the deal and..."

"AND? And what Stefan?"

"Klaus told him that the family he thought died centuries ago at Klaus' hand were still able to be found. Elijah believed him and reneged. Bonnie couldn't catch them in time before they…got..(sigh) away."

"He's not dead?" Stefan shakes his head.

"Oh my God. This was all for nothing. Jenna died and John died and I died and the thing that was supposed to make it all worth it didn't happen?" Elena stared at him with eyes full of anger and sadness.

"Shhh, shhh Lena. It won't be for nothing. I promise you- we will figure it out. I'm so sorry I failed you but I will fix it. Somehow I will fix it."

At midnight, Elena wakes and stares at Stefan. He has his arm slung around her waist and his hand in hers. Throughout their sleep, he would squeeze her hand to reassure himself she was there. Somehow even her subconscious knew to squeeze back. She knew that he was willing to take on all her emotions and carry them—hell he already was. But she also knew this:

He was as traumatized as she was. And she wanted to take care of him too.

While gazing at him, her mind concocted a scheme where she somehow disattached herself to his body and with the clothes on her back, she'd grab Jeremy and they'd drive as far away from this as they could.

She'd leave behind her friends and her love because she had lost too much. Bonnie wouldn't tell anyone where they went neither would she hate Elena for her choice.

Stefan's love and guilt would allow her to escape him without him trying to find her.

Damon? Stefan would handle Damon.

Caroline? She's a vampire; she'd be fine.

This chapter in she and Jeremy's eyes would be like the pages of a book ripped out—it would never make sense to others how they were who they were now and they would never know.

She could go to a small college in the middle of nowhere interesting and meet a nice (human) guy and marry him and (children? Grow old?) keep a low profile and so could her brother.

But neither of their hearts would be full because they don't own their hearts to be able to give them to anyone else.

And, eventually, they'd leave without a trace and return back to their hearts hoping it wasn't too late.

The truth hit her like ice water: Normal died for Elena the moment her parents car went off the bridge.

Looking at Stefan, Elena realized that even though she had yet to truly grieve for all she lost, the man lying next to her made normal unacceptable. She tried to put on the airs of normalcy so she could fit back in at school that August day, but from the very moment she came out of that men's restroom and ran into Stefan, he consistently affirmed that she wasn't and didn't need to be normal.

The lack of normal she was grateful for: She had her life because he wasn't normal. She would never have met him and experienced what it was like to love him and to be loved by him if he was normal.

She would never know her own strength if she were normal.

Her brother would be devastated by his parents' death if they were normal. He would probably be dead if not for the lack of normal.

This is why she leaned in closer to him, gently touching his hair with her fingertips. And then she kissed his forehead.

THIS was normal now. Placing her head on his chest, she allows her body to relax again and fall asleep.

Just as she was settling into a somewhat deep sleep, Stefan's phone rings.

Sitting up in bed, he says very little except the occasional "yeses and no's," indicating to her that he was talking to Damon.

When he hung up, he grabbed Elena's waist once again, resting his body against her and his chin on her shoulder. "The funeral is set for tomorrow morning. We thought it best to do it quickly and eliminate the risk of too many people finding out."

Elena nodded.

"And I know it's late but you should eat something."

She shook her head. "I'm fine."

Stefan didn't push. He knew that he needed to save the pushing for the days to come. She was far too raw right now. So he nodded and acquiesced to her fine-ness. "Do you want to sleep some more?"

"I want to check on Jeremy."

"He's fine. But he's with Bonnie right now and I get the sense they don't want to be disturbed."

"Oh."

"You want to talk a little bit"? he asked, rubbing her shoulders and arm a little.

Not answering his question, Elena looks at him and then sits up and crawls off the bed. Feet touching the floor for the first time in hours, she feels Stefan watching her as she opens the door and walks out of the room. She turns her head to look at him. "You coming"?

He climbs out of bed and walks over to her, grabbing her hand. She walks over to Jeremy's room and knocks. All she says is "Rummy. Downstairs," and then they continue walk down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Elena looks through the drawers of the island until she finds what she is looking for. Stefan standing on the opposite side of the island looks confused.

She holds a deck of playing cards in her hand.

Stefan's confused face instigates her story. "The night of the funeral we were all just…numb. And Jenna being Jenna decided to fix it. She pulled out a deck of cards and made me and Jeremy and Bonnie and Caroline sit and play Rummy with her. I don't remember laughing so hard while my insides were being torn apart. We played until we couldn't keep our eyes open. It didn't make everything better—nothing could—but it did let us know we could still laugh."

Elena looked at Stefan, her eyes searching for assurance that she wasn't crazy or immature or grief stricken pathetic.

He reached for her free hand that sat on the island and held it. With the most sincere look he could muster, he said, "I am a master of card play my love. Prepare to be beaten." The watery smile he got in return for his banter melted his heart and made this all worth it somehow.

"You clearly have never played cards with me," said a voice from the stairs. "Stefan, you may be a master of pool and all things vampiric, but I own Rummy," Jeremy said with a smile.

Following closely behind was Bonnie.

"It's true. The boy does know his way around some deadwood," she said smiling at Elena's younger brother.

"I think you all forget that I am older than the game itself," Stefan said in this faux grandiose manner.

Elena, Bonnie and Jeremy all gave him looks of awe. And then they laughed. Hard.

"I do always forget that you are older than America," said Elena with a wink in her eye. He squeezed her hand a little tighter and smiled at her.

"Touche."

Bonnie left Jeremy's side and walked around to Elena grabbing her friend tightly. "I already called Caroline. She's bringing the snacks."

"Is she bringing her lurve triangle with her"? Elena asked.

"Love triangle? Caroline is in a love triangle? I thought it was just you 'Lena." Stefan asked clearly bemused.

Elena looked at him with wide eyes, shocked that he would even make that joke. But of course he would. Because that was them.

And because it WAS a joke. "No one likes a bragger or a bad joke teller Stefan," she said with her eyebrow raised and her eyes all serious. Even though they were currently playing with each others hands.

He just smiled.

"Here we go," Jeremy said, sitting at his spot at the kitchen table.

"Not even going there. Anyway, Tyler totally kissed Caroline—," Bonnie responded quicker than Elena and rolling her eyes at Jeremy.

"She and Matt were on a break, Bon..," Elena said feeling almost like this was a normal night—even though it was 2 am and they were on the eve of burying her aunt and her father due to a vampiric ritual.

"Still…now I think she's torn between Tyler and Matt. It was easier to choose when Tyler left town but now that he's back?" Bonnie said leaving that question in the air.

"I never would have dreamed of Caroline and Tyler Lockwood. He was such an ass," Elena responded with a slight smirk.

"And you thought Caroline and Matt Donovan were a possibility?" Bonnie retorted.

"Ahh…good point Bonnie. Good point."

Stefan stood and watched these women discuss these trivialities and it was the first time in a long time that he felt like they were going to get through this. That even though they had suffered a set of devastating, mind blowing, heart and gut wrenching losses—that they hadn't even dealt with yet—they could rally around each other and find the strength to get through this.

Stefan let go of Elena's hand and walked over to the table sitting next to Jeremy. "So we gonna continue to have girl talk? Or are we gonna play some Rummy?"

Elena and Bonnie looked at each other and then at Stefan and Jeremy, both wearing identical smiles. "Rummy," they said simultaneously.

"Not without me!" Caroline in her pajamas and bunny slippers came running through the door at vampire speed with potato chips, popcorn and soda. "NOW…we can begin."

They all sat where they did almost a year ago—minus Jenna. But plus Stefan. They played and played and laughed and laughed. Stefan and Elena glanced at each other at one point and he could see the mixture of emotions swirling in her eyes. He mouthed to her that he loved her and she did the same.

7 am, the partiers slept strewn in various places along the couch and the floor of Elena and Jeremy's living room. Bonnie and Caroline lying together as has been their arrangement since 6th grade summer camp; Jeremy close by but not close enough to break up the girl bonding; and Stefan and Elena somehow melded on the couch with Stefan holding Elena's waist as he slept behind her.

Elena woke first, surveying the room. It took a moment for the events of the day before and today to catch up to her. Her state of shock returned. She rose from the couch and walked upstairs to shower and start to get dressed.

Stefan let Elena have a moment to herself before going upstairs to check on her. He saw her seated on the lip of the tub while the shower ran completely lost.

"Come on honey."

And he helped her undress and step into the shower spray. She pulled him in with her and after he undressed they just held each other.

"Stefan I don't know how to do this. How to be a grown up. How to do this on my own."

"It's hard but you can do this. I'm gonna help you get through this. I will always be here with you. Me and you Elena. Remember? Always. (more whisper like) Always."

She gripped him tighter. "Always."

They finished their shower some time later and moved into Elena's room to dress. Hanging on the door was one of Stefan's suit and a bag of toiletries. He knew Damon was here and was grateful he let them be for now.

Elena and Stefan were busily dressing when Elena stopped him. "Do I look okay"? she asked.

Stefan already had on his undershirt and dress pants and was sliding on his socks while sitting on Elena's bed. He looked up at her in her fitted and belted black dress. "Beautiful," before he could stop himself.

She walked over to him and kneeled in front of him, caressed his face and kissed him softly. He returned her kiss with a slightly more intense one. And then that led to the passionate kisses.

Elena broke from the kissing and leaned her forehead against his. Both of them taking deep breaths. "Sorry I got carried away," Stefan says looking up at her.

Elena smiles. "I love you. You're the sanest part of all my insanity right now. Thank you for being here with me."

"There is no place else I would rather be. For as long as you let me."

They kissed again but this time chastely and Stefan helped Elena stand as they both finished dressing.

"Damon's downstairs. I should go talk to him," Stefan said unsure of this entire plan.

"I'll be down in a minute," she said looking at him from her mirror.

"If you need me, you know where I'll be. Okay?"

She gives him a small smile. "I know."

They stare at each other for a few long moments until Stefan pulls himself away and onto dealing with the practicalities of the day.

He just had to keep reminding himself that they would get through it.

Elena looked in the mirror and brushed her hair into a low ponytail and had to keep reminding herself that she was going to get through it.

And so it began.


End file.
